the cohost post

[disc_scratch]

I don't know where to write this. I kinda acknowledge posting this to cohost would mean never seeing these thoughts again, maybe both? but wow,, wow. I don't want to be overdramatic but i think in a large way cohost fixed a part of me that was factually broken. I've always only had the internet, as a kid. The internet has always been a "place" that I used as a tool to basically raise myself. For that it will forever be my sanctuary BUT god... having the internet as my primary space has made me just flat out afraid, of conflict, of losing my safe space, of taking up the space I actively needed to take for my own sake, it is all our human right in existence, to take up space. That is being alive. Being scared of all those things though means I got pushed into being just a reblogger a lot of the time, no one really knew me or what I was into past surface level observation because algorithms would just shove conflict in my face constantly and, suffering from paranoia means I hold that with me even if there's no logical way for that to happen to me personally. The typical scared of commenting dance...

But like, cohost was so beautiful, only the things I wanted people to see I could tag, the rest of my profile could just be for my own enjoyment, and if people wanted to see whatever I didn't tag that was purely up to them. I experimented with letting people in, and for the first time in my online presence I started feeling a sense of excitement, to engage with a community, even if my pocket on it was small. Inherently cohost taught me that first and foremost a social media should fit to my benefit, and I don't have to cramp myself into a "larger" site if the way it is going to present my posts is just going to make me uncomfortable. These are tools to connect to people, and I'm not going to die if I cannot See Posts. I think most people gave up cohost early because they couldn't find posts, and that's a valid criticism i suppose. For me though it taught me to Use cohost first for my own activity, and to not be in a rush to fill my attention. What was maybe 3 posts per day on my feed when I started is now a large array of different people all discussing the impact cohost had on their life, purely because it allowed them to talk to people directly and because I decided to stick it out. I don't think cohost could be considered a failure in that regard, I don't believe I'm the only one whose outlook has changed.

On a more personally direct route though, tomorrow I'm gonna start studying a full university course. Something I hope will help ground me in more face to face contact and in turn let the internet be a place I live instead of the place I live; so in a weird way it's quite poetic for cohost to go down for me now of all time. I truely wish it wouldn't, there's nothing that does cohost better than cohost, but for me this is kind of like starting a fresh journal for a new stage of my life. For that I am quite emotional, but I am mostly just grateful that I had the chance to be there, see so many wonderful people, and that I get to continue taking this energy with me for the rest of my life.

Comments

[clovercrayon]

I! FEEL!! THJE SAME!!! Cohost gave me an even healthier mindset on social media and made me care about numbers so so so much less. It helped me comment so much more. It helped me actually engage with others and express myself as I would in real life!! I wasn't always active with Cohost cuz I had my grievances with the site (that still do remain a problem for me...) But regardlessss IMO it was one of the most chill and awesome social media experiences for me. Good luck with your studies!!!! Hopefully Dreamwidth will be a swag alternative for the time being ... I'm really liking it so far ^_^

[disc_scratch]

!!!! the same boat!!!
I definitely felt my fair share of problems with cohost as well, but i think im more willing to forgive and forget since i don't have to deal with the issues anymore haha. It's so awesome to see people come together and just, express their thoughts all towards something though!! it's so special, thank you !

And thank you for the wishes I will do my best!!! Dreamwidth is really comfty so far I agree, hoping to dig into it more today ^w^

[softwareangel]

this was really beautifully written and i resonate with a lot of the same feelings and experiences you express here. i think as someone who also primarily resides/was raised on the internet, i can relate to the fear and paranoia as well as that want to take up space and have a place to call home. im so happy you were able to welcome people in, and make connections on cohost. i think that was one of my most cherished parts of it too, i got to meet and interact with a lot of really amazing and genuine people, all of which i never would have met if i didnt take the chance. im wishing you all the best in your new adventures both online and offline. university is going to be a big challenge, a huge step, but i have full confidence that you are going to do amazing. higher education like college and uni is a great way to meet new people, or at the very least, be around others you normally wouldnt have met. for me it was a really great experience in just meeting others, and giving myself a routine outside the internet. i hope its a good experience for you too and im cheering you on!

[disc_scratch]

!! thank you for such a heartfelt reply ! I think everyone on cohost was probably much the same as us, seeing everyone have pretty much the same takeaway feels really meaningful too, we all needed cohost at some point, i think! I hope fun and positive experiences follow you everywhere C:

And thank you !!! I will do my best for everyone's sake, including mine ^w^ I've already talked to such cool people at my school and they're all in different classes GKHHG

[softwareangel]

ah such is college life LOL it was very rare that my friends and i were ever in the same classes outside of freshman year!! its gonna be so much fun for you i hope you have a good time at uni!!!